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opening hearts to god

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Trinity's Blog

An ongoing series of inspirational entries

My Rebirth

April 13, 2017

The Spirit of the Triune God lives within Me, who is Trinity.

On February 20, 2015 I nearly died from an almost fatal car crash on Deerfoot Trail in Calgary, AB, Canada. This was the pivotal moment that turned my life upside down during another period of my prime years. One moment, I was a successful and respected Psychologist with AHS working close to 60 hour work weeks and being a guiding resource for others, and the next instant I found myself completely disoriented and lost both physically and mentally. 

It was through this upcoming period of utmost suffering that I would finally find God's face shining down on me.

The past 2 years have been the most treacherous of my entire life of 38 years on Earth. I went from a state of complete debilitation, due to multiple injuries the worst of which was a Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, to total recovery without the use of any kind of medical or energetic guidance or treatment from a medical or holistic practitioner. Adding to these injuries are my chronic illnesses of Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia, diagnosed in 2010.

I am now training to run my first ever 5 km run at the age of 39 years. My resting heart rate is now 50 beats per minute when it used to be 100. I am now standing on my head during yoga practice.

I now have restored hope to be able to ride my motorcycle again after 7 long summers of it sitting idle. I now understand what it means to truly love yourself and to be loved unconditionally. I no longer need to wear expensive clothes and jewelry nor make-up or fuss with my hair (I shaved it right off) to feel beautiful or good about myself. My luxury car and condo no longer give me the same sense of entitlement I once felt. Instead I feel humbled and grateful that I have been blessed with such comforts. It is simply through my complete and total Surrender to God that I achieved total healing of mind, body, soul and spirit and awakened to the Truth.

I didn't do anything spectacular to achieve my complete healing. I didn't work endlessly to achieve health or success, as I did in the past in my attempt at recovering from my diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia in 2010. In fact, it was the very mismanagement from my medical team that was slowly killing me. Drugs and more drugs were pushed my way for every ailment including the management of side effects from other drugs. The first thing I was directed to do through my intuitive guidance, was to get off every single one of the toxic twenty medications I was taking. They were poisoning my body and suppressing my brain's neuroplasticity. The medications were acting in opposition to my brain's ability to heal. This was perpetuating the cycle of trauma, as I continued to experience persistent flashbacks and nightmares.

I remember vividly not even being able to leave my bed to take myself to the washroom let alone take my poor puppies out. I would lie in bed day in and day out and further numb my brain with endless TV. I was emotionally volatile and my head was filled with a thick fog. I was falling down and breaking bones when dance and gymnastics have always been my forte. I had a resting heart rate of a 100 beats per minute for no apparent reason. I started fainting if I got up too quickly from bed at night. I woke every morning in even more debilitating pain throughout my joints, muscles and every single nerve than when I fell asleep the night before. I felt like was 100 years old and was waiting to take my last breath. I would get no peace at night either. I would wail in my sleep and wake up shivering and soaking wet. I lost my will to live once again.

This time I did not take matters into my own hands when I hit rock bottom. Rather, I threw up my hands and let go of all control of the reigns of my life. Once I opened my heart, after years of closing it up tight due to the pain and trauma I endured in my past, the transformation of healing came swiftly. I was challenged to allow God to do His work without question or protest by me. I simply allowed the presence of God into my heart and started believing in myself. Suddenly, things I once thought were impossible seemed possible. Dreams I had given up on long ago started to become a reality I never imagined for this lifetime. This was the inspiration that drove me to create this forum of healing to help others in endless suffering. Based on this personal testament of healing, I cannot turn a blind eye to the rampant emotional and physical disease we see in the world today.

The Spirit of God came to me in the act of contemplative prayer or meditation. It is through this act that I not only felt God's loving presence, but also received intuitive guidance. I utilized the Creative Arts such as writing, art, music and levity to channel this intuition. Making my heart happy and feeling overwhelming love led to a 100% purge of the pain I carried for so many years. There was no longer any room in my heart for pain, only forgiveness. It became easy to let it all go.

I finally felt free.

My animals played a significant role in my healing. They are little morsels of Heaven. I walked alone without one living person to guide me. The unconditional love I received from my puppies is something that is very difficult for humans to provide. They led me to spend time in nature, where God's presence can be found in abundance. Although God's presence can be visibly seen in the "horizontal" awesome beauty of nature such as the sunrise and sunset, mountains and oceans, where His Spirit is truly experienced is in a form that cannot be seen or physically touched.

God can be felt in the "vertical" effects of the changing weather.

I feel His purification in the peacefulness of perfectly formed crystals floating down to the Earth in Winter. I feel His power in the almighty winds blowing the changing leaves in Autumn. I feel His sanctification in the cleansing rain sent down from the Heavens in Spring. I feel his trustworthiness wholeheartedly in the warm rays of the magnificent Sun in Summer. I feel his awesomeness and creative power under the glorious stars that light up the night sky.


God is a feeling. He is an emotion called Love.

What we need is to deny our Ego's endless pursuit of perfection and relentless pleasure seeking and instead choose to accept the love of God our Creator, through his son Jesus. Virgin Mary's immaculate conception is clearly documented in all three books: the Torah, the Bible and even the Quran. Jesus was the son of God. Once we accept the son, the Creator accepts us as His children and He becomes our Heavenly Father. This simple act then allows His Spirit to fill our hearts with boundless love from deep within our Soul. As we develop and mature in our relationship with the Father, it naturally leads us to Transformation of our default nature of self-ish to self-less and ultimately Transcendence of the Ego.

This is called Faith. Believing in a guiding entity we cannot physically see or touch, only feel within our hearts.

God's ultimate message: We have enough and we are enough.

It is through our willingness to trust Him and in His complete acceptance of us no matter our imperfections, that we can achieve the potential to completely heal from any affliction the world throws at us. Our imperfections make us unique and thus especially beautiful.

Praise you Lord of Heaven's Armies for redeeming a wretch like me. I pray that you always keep me in the centre of your Will so that I may do your work as a faithful and loyal soldier to lift the veil of darkness over the World we so clearly see today. Please allow me to be a guiding light to those still sleeping to this Truth, those still plugged into the Matrix. It is through open hearts that we will achieve true salvation. I pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.