Jesus freed me from the oppression and persecution I felt growing up in the Muslim culture of bondage. From oppressive disciplining practices and the disrespect for the wisdom of children to the persistent chasing of material status and prosperity in the form of influential career choices, is what encompasses following the Muslim way. The pursuit of perfection is key, as imperfections are not tolerated. Severe punishment ensues if one messes up, especially as a child and as a female. There are double standards. It was so refreshing to be accepted no matter my past mistakes, my profession, my influence, my status or lack thereof, and even the clothes I chose to wear. Not only did I not burst into flames when I entered the Church for the first time, I was most warmly welcomed. The bible thumpers, as I had once called them, were in fact the ones who led me to the Truth of this World and to the Salvation of my Soul.

One is taught to pay no attention to the wisdom within, rather listen to one's elders or other figures of authority in society who always seem to know better than oneself. This externalizes an individual's locus of control, which keeps them stuck in a perpetual cycle of dependence on people or objects outside themselves for happiness. This teaching parallel's the way of the World very closely. This is a recipe for disaster. An unhealthy culture of competitive behaviour is born, which only causes to further divide the community rather than fostering a sense of unity and connection. This appears evident of late, as the mosques are primarily empty of believers from the current generation.

Jesus' example on Earth of forgiveness in the face of persecution by people guilty of heinous crimes, especially during his treacherous death on the cross as a case in point, is what opened my eyes to the characteristics of a truly loving heart. Jesus' teaching of loving acceptance of every child of God, no matter their imperfections, is what moved me to tears and pushed out all the pain I didn't even realize I was carrying deep inside my heart.

I had never once felt this type of total acceptance from another being. Not only did Jesus love me in spite of my imperfections, he loved me because of them, as I learned I was made exactly as was intended by God. The mental realization that I was loved simply for existing, for breathing, is what catapulted my healing and transformation to a whole new level I never thought possible.

I started to love myself for the first time in my life.

With the release of deeply buried crusty pockets of pain in my heart and soul, I was filled with a newfound abundance of life energy. Over a period of only a few months after my complete surrender to Jesus, I allowed the Spirit to continue to fill me and its energy to heal my body. I continued to let it flow in no matter how afraid I felt. No matter how many tests to sway my newfound Faith came my way, I held on to the deep love I felt in my heart.

God's love for me started turning into a true love and compassion I felt for myself, which was an incredibly different feeling than my previous notion of self-love more aptly defined as Narcissism. I realize in hindsight, the Psychologist who assessed me during my state of debilitation from the accident on Deerfoot Trail in Calgary, Alberta, of which I speak of in more detail in my post Trinity is Me, was spot on. I worked on humbling myself by denying myself of worldly desires and attachments time and time again, praising God at every turn for every success no matter how big or small. I praised God even when things weren't going my way. I trusted God's plan for me and realized He had my back. 

I finally felt safe.

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God is a feeling. He is an emotion called Love.

What we need is to deny our Ego's endless pursuit of perfection and relentless pleasure seeking and instead choose to accept the love of God our Creator, through his son Jesus. Virgin Mary's immaculate conception is clearly documented in all three books: the Torah, the Bible and even the Quran. Jesus was the son of God. Once we accept the son, the Creator accepts us as His children and He becomes our Heavenly Father. This simple act then allows His Spirit to fill our hearts with boundless love from deep within our Soul. As we develop and mature in our relationship with the Father, it naturally leads us to Transformation of our default nature of self-ish to self-less and ultimately Transcendence of the unsatiable pleasure seeking appetite of the Ego.

This is called Faith. Believing in a guiding entity we cannot physically see or touch, only feel within our hearts.

God's ultimate message: We have enough and we are enough.

It is through our willingness to trust Him and in His complete acceptance of us no matter our imperfections, that we can achieve the potential to completely heal from any affliction the world throws at us. Our imperfections make us unique and thus especially beautiful.

Praise you Lord of Heaven's Armies for redeeming a wretch like me. I pray that you always keep me in the centre of your Will so that I may do your work as a faithful and loyal soldier to lift the veil of darkness over the World we so clearly see today. Please allow me to be a guiding light to those still sleeping to this Truth, those still plugged into the Matrix. It is through open hearts that we will achieve true salvation. I pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.